D3 body, D1 cock
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
