He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
