My liver just broke up with me...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
