why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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