you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
