i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
