Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
