need another drink. this is the easiest way
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
