he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
