id be glad to
Michael Bay diarrhea
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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