I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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