If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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