She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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