I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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