absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
