I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
