Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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