My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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