Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
