I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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