oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize