Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
