I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
