its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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