I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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