Where did you get a picture of my penis
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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