hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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