I murdered the dance floor call the cops
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
