Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
