I wannas sexs uuuuu
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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