his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
