Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry littlelight hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon

Fav 4 1377 770
share tweet
(208): View more from Idaho

I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.

Fav 19 4395 1527
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?

Fav 27 1927 4025
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy

Fav 16 4182 1109
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace

Fav 11 1866 4803
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that

Fav 14 1032 2404
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.

Fav 3 802 652
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom

Fav 0 11 39
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.

Fav 0 67 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT