what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize
