remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize