Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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