It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
