so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
