hotel room ftw
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
