This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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