My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
