You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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