I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
did you just send me my own nude
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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