I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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