I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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