that's an acceptable place to lick
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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