It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
