the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
