So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
