awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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