it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
