**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
