Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just want nice things and good sex
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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