thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
