Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
