This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
