She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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