the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize