I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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