just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Less talking, more tequila
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
