I want to walk on stilts...naked
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
