I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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