Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
