Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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