I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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